Screen Time Conversations With Parents
“Why aren’t parents following through?”
Over my years as a pediatric occupational therapist, I have repeatedly seen therapists express concern that parents aren’t carrying over recommended home programs. This often includes guidance around the amount of screen time children should have. These concerns are valid; you may have seen my blog post about how screens can affect anxiety.
Unfortunately, these discussions can sometimes carry an element of parent shaming, whether implied or explicit.
As a young therapist new to the field, I was like that too, so I understand. We want to help, and we’re offering suggestions with good intentions. It can be frustrating when parents don’t follow our recommendations. However, we often miss important information when making those recommendations, particularly when it comes to screen time or home programs: parents’ goals and their capacity at the time to make changes.
To be effective, we need to meet families where they are, and do so without shame.
How Can We Help Parents Reduce Screen Time?
First, most parents are already aware that they should not allow their children too much screen time. Just telling people what they already know really does nothing more than contribute to feelings of shame they may already feel. Have you ever known a smoker to stop smoking just because you told them that it was bad for them? It doesn’t work. This is no different.
Second, our assessments are often so focused on the child that we neglect to consider family dynamics, parental responsibilities and learning styles, and other factors that may contribute to their ability to make changes. In addition, they may have unusual life circumstances, such as caring for an aging parent, or health problems, that affect their ability to have carryover. These are important discussions to have when working with a new client to help you understand the best way to approach a talk about reducing screen time.
Learn whether this even a goal or priority for them right now
Right now may not be the right time for them. This may be an area that needs support later in their therapy journey.
Acknowledge that it’s not easy to change screen time habits
Keep in mind that changing screen use is most likely changing a habit for both parents and children. Some people need more support and accountability for making habit changes. If they are motivated to make this change, but need ideas for implementation, are there suggestions that you can give them for making new habits? For instance, you can help them modify routines that incorporate screen time. You may suggest, for example, that the ride to school be a screen-free time and the routine can be changed to sing together or play an interactive game, like “I Spy,” instead. “Reducing screen time” can feel overwhelming and nebulous for some people and they may need these concrete suggestions.
Learn what their bandwidth is for making a change right now. It’s very possible that they can only handle one minor change. For example, they may need to start by cutting their child's screen time from 60 minutes to 45 minutes, or reducing it by one day per week.
Find out what needs the screens are fulfilling
Is the screen time for the child, parent, or both? A child’s screen time may be the only time a parent can relax or shower because of the high needs of their child. This may be a necessary time for them to refresh so that they can regulate with their child when needed.
If the screen time is filling a need for the child, parents may need alternatives for meeting that need. If it is to help them self-regulate, what other tools or strategies do they have in place? They may need to have these alternatives before considering reducing screen time. If the need being fulfilled is to keep the child busy or entertained, do they have other activities they can use? They may not have funds to purchase other activities for their child. Don’t assume that just because they have a tablet for their child that they have the money to access other toys or activities.
Offer support for a screen time detox
If they need some structured guidance and ideas for a screen detox, you can share this blog and they can download the screen detox guide.
Therapists have to consider many factors when making recommendations to reduce screen time in children. It is important to provide support without shame, even if parents aren’t quite ready to change screen time habits.
