How to Process Situational Anxiety
How Do You Process Your Anxiety?
Understanding ourselves helps us understand our clients so we can use a therapeutic use of self. How do you handle anxiety?
I’m reflecting on this question today because I was called to jury duty and I found myself feeling anxious about it. There is a lot of uncertainty when you are called. And uncertainty and anxiety go hand-in-hand.
Uncertainties I wondered about:
· Will I even have to go? I won’t know until I call the night before. It makes it hard to plan my very busy week. I have to keep my clients in limbo until I know for sure.
· Will there be traffic? I’m not used to driving in rush hour or downtown city traffic.
· Will I be able to find a parking space? It’s a busy city and there are a lot of jurors called. Will there be enough spaces for all of us and the people who use the parking deck daily?
· Will I get there in time?
· How long will I be there? Will I have to cancel my plans for the next day or work in the evening to cover things I can’t do today or tomorrow?
· Will there be comfortable chairs? I have a bulging disc in my back and having to sit in chairs without cushions means at least 2 days of pain.
I knew that I couldn’t control any of those things directly, but I had some control in how I prepared for them.
How I handled this situational anxiety
First, I reminded myself that it’s normal to have discomfort in new and uncertain situations. Then I did some research to ease some of my anxieties. I looked at the map to see where the parking deck was relative to the courthouse. I looked at Google maps to see what traffic was typically like at the time of day I needed to travel and planned to leave relatively early. I looked at the frequently asked questions on the website. I gathered things to do in case I had the time. I took a travel cushion in case the chairs were uncomfortable.
However, even if I hadn’t had time to process and plan for all of these things, I reminded myself that I have the ability to ask questions. People have this juror experience every day, so it’s not as if they are going to call people to do it and just expect them to figure it out on their own. They gave some information ahead of time in their summons, but there are always people to ask when you are unsure (and why this is an important skill to make sure children have!).
How can I use this experience to help my clients?
I’m an adult with the cognitive skills to process these questions in my head, so I would not expect a child to solve a problem in this way. Children may need to create visual supports to help them with this process. How would I do that?
- I can help them focus on what they do know. There are some certainties in uncertain situations.
- I can help them understand what they can and can’t control.
- I can help them understand that they are typically not alone when they encounter an experience where there is uncertainty; often there will be a parent or teacher present.
- I can help them understand that they can ask questions.
Knowledge is Power…Sometimes
A quick note about researching anxiety-inducing experiences. Sometimes research can ease the mind of an anxious person. It did for me. However, sometimes research can add to their feelings of worry and uncertainty. It may be helpful to have specific questions in mind that need to be answered before doing research. For example, if a child is going to the dentist for a wellness check it may be helpful to know what the room looks like, who will be there, will they have a way to ask for a break, what noises will they hear, etc. We often help them with this process when we make a social narrative for them. We can teach older children to do this research by calling, asking to visit there before their appointment, etc. I would not encourage an internet search for this kind of thing (think about what happens when you call on “Dr. Google” when you have an unexplained medical symptom!).
Some Anxiety is Normal
I find great comfort in remembering that anxiety is normal. We won’t eliminate it completely. Use this social map to help your clients (and you if needed!) through this process.
