Fidget Solutions for Anxiety

Sensory-based behaviors, such as fidgeting, can be the result of a variety of things, not just sensory processing differences. This includes fatigue, low blood sugar, and anxiety, among other things. When children fidget with their hands it may result in behaviors distracting to others (such as tapping a pencil) damage to materials (such as repeatedly pulling strings from socks), or it may result in picking skin.

Fidgets have traditionally been used and considered for children who need something to hold to help them focus. However, they can be just as effective when used as a tool to help anxiety. In either case a child has extra energy in their body and uses the fidget to help them channel that energy. 

However, not all fidgets work for focusing, and not all work for anxiety. And some that work for focusing for some children may work better for anxiety for others; this is very individual. We can help determine what works for each individual child by teaching them the purpose of fidgets and how to use them. 

Teach Children How to Use a Fidget

When we help children understand why they have a tool to hold we are helping them find ways to learn to self-regulate. This can also be an important component of self-advocacy as they learn what helps them and what doesn’t. 

I include all parts of the fidget lesson that are mentioned in this post as part of this lesson, so they understand its purpose and that there is an expectation that a fidget doesn’t distract others if it is used to help them focus. For children who may need to address anxiety as well as their ability to focus I will do more:

I will have children sort a variety of fidgets into one of two categories:

1) those that help them focus

and

2) those that help them relax. 

They may decide some don’t work in either way for them. It is much less common to find one that works for them in both categories. If you don’t have very many things to use as fidgets for this lesson, don’t worry, it’s actually not that hard to find things you can use if you are on a budget.

Fidgets don’t have to be fancy or expensive. 

Two of my favorite fidgets are polished stones and pipe cleaners, things you can find at a dollar store. However, if you have the means it is nice to have a variety on hand. If you have a community giveaway group I have also found this to be a good resource for fidgets that I can use for this lesson. They are often sitting around homes unused and people are happy to give them away for this purpose!

How to Stop a Skin Picking Problem

First, it's important to know that skin picking can be a side effect of medication, so it may be best to have parents speak with the prescribing physician if this is present. If this has been ruled out, try these strategies if regular fidgets and attempts to cover the skin with clothing or bandages are ineffective:

1: Use puff paint on a laminated piece of paper. Peeling this off can be very satisfying. Children have fun making these themselves and the laminated papers can be reused repeatedly.

2. Peel small stickers off of a sheet. I’ve even recommended having children put them on their arms to peel off there

3. For the right child, placing small dabs of white glue on the fingers that they can rub then peel off can be very satisfying and effective.

4. Peel off dried hot glue from something. 

5. Try "pain" fidgets if that is the sensation desired. These are often made of silicone and have little spikes on them ("Little Ouchies" is a brand).

In addition, some fidgety behaviors have an obsessive compulsive component and this may need interventions beyond what a fidget can do if they are disruptive or harmful in some way. 

How to Stop Pulling Threads from Socks and other Fabrics

If none of the above strategies are effective, and it is not due to an obsessive compulsive tendency that needs to be addressed through methods and/or medications specific to that, then I have found that the most successful way to address it is to have a string on hand, as long as it is filling a tactile need. I have observed children do this so they can get visual input as well by waving the strings in front of their face; a fidget-based strategy may not be effective in that case. 

Depending on the resistance and texture they seek, natural burlap may be a cheap alternative. Not only could you sew in some straight lines of yarn that they can pull, once that is done they can pull the individual strings of the burlap. Of course if children can make these themselves that is great, but there may be volunteers who would be happy to do this as well. This may be a more cost-effective way to redirect string pulling so socks and shirts aren’t damaged. 

Not All Fidgets Work for Everyone

Fidgets are not a one-size-fits-all solution, but when used with intention, they can be powerful tools to help children manage both focus and anxiety. By teaching children how to use them purposefully, and by experimenting with different ones, we empower them to discover what works best for their own regulation.